When Babies Attack! (Or, The Deadliest Catch)

From May 2008 to May 2009, several nearby families have noted an increase in the population of small creatures commonly referred to as "babies". Warning signs of the creatures' appearance include the onset of flu-like symptoms resulting in extreme swelling in a woman's abdomen followed by the removal of one or more baby-shaped objects. After that, there's sleeplessness, crying, and an unexplained need to re-arrange things. And poo.

The recent rise in the local baby population has resulted in a rash of attacks around the neighborhood. It's an epidemic of...epidemic proportions! But our neighborhood babyhunters are on the case. Below, they gather round to assess their latest catch:

Scary, no? Our house has been attacked by not one but TWO, count them, TWO babies in recent months. Oh, the humanity!

We're learning more about babies every day. To be sure, the clever little creatures appear harmless enough:

But don't be fooled! Only ten minutes later, this candid picture reveals their true abilities:

That's right - NEVER let your guard down around babies. They have been known to strike without warning. Notice how the victim in the pictures below lies helpless from one baby's highly skilled attack:

What ferocity! What aggression! Remarkable!

I actually got close enough to touch one that was sleeping. There's no telling what mayhem would have ensued had he awakened. I'm lucky I lived to provide this rare photo to the public.

But fear not. We will be vigilant in our endeavors to continue to go forth and move on making progress as we take it to the next level going forward.

More pictures and updates to come...if we survive!