When Babies Attack! (Or, The Deadliest Catch)

From May 2008 to May 2009, several nearby families have noted an increase in the population of small creatures commonly referred to as "babies". Warning signs of the creatures' appearance include the onset of flu-like symptoms resulting in extreme swelling in a woman's abdomen followed by the removal of one or more baby-shaped objects. After that, there's sleeplessness, crying, and an unexplained need to re-arrange things. And poo.

The recent rise in the local baby population has resulted in a rash of attacks around the neighborhood. It's an epidemic of...epidemic proportions! But our neighborhood babyhunters are on the case. Below, they gather round to assess their latest catch:

Scary, no? Our house has been attacked by not one but TWO, count them, TWO babies in recent months. Oh, the humanity!

We're learning more about babies every day. To be sure, the clever little creatures appear harmless enough:

But don't be fooled! Only ten minutes later, this candid picture reveals their true abilities:

That's right - NEVER let your guard down around babies. They have been known to strike without warning. Notice how the victim in the pictures below lies helpless from one baby's highly skilled attack:

What ferocity! What aggression! Remarkable!

I actually got close enough to touch one that was sleeping. There's no telling what mayhem would have ensued had he awakened. I'm lucky I lived to provide this rare photo to the public.

But fear not. We will be vigilant in our endeavors to continue to go forth and move on making progress as we take it to the next level going forward.

More pictures and updates to come...if we survive!

Slideshow: Maternity and Hospital Pics

I know I haven't posted in a while, but I'll get some fresh content up soon. In the meantime, for those who haven't seen the amazing slideshow done by our photographer friend Michelle, here's the link:

http://www.mppphotography.com/CobbBirth/index.html

(If you're prone to being emotional, you might want to have some tissues handy.)

Prisonbreak, part 2 (or, The Saga of the Wireless Babies Begins)

With brother already in hiding in a safehouse just outside of town, William made a break for it on Tuesday of this week. In the picture below, one of his accomplices - known on the street as "Daddy" - can be seen assisting in the successful escape.



Though not too happy about being placed in restraints so quickly after getting away, William fell asleep in his carseat in no time.



In case I haven't made myself clear...the Cobb Quad is together at home at last.



Reunited, the twins rejoiced in their freedom by doing absolutely nothing.

No longer looking like a couple of marionette puppets, these babies are free and clear. No monitor wires, no gavage tubes, no oxygen lines, no NICU, and no nurses. (OK, to be honest, we'll actually miss the nurses a lot, and I think the boys will, too.)

Our days of hospitals and doctors aren't done, of course, but we now have wireless babies, and they're home. Thus, the next chapter begins.

Prisonbreak, part 1

Local authorities today received an anonymous tip that a 19-inch tall infant was spotted escaping the NICU of Harris Methodist Hospital in Fort Worth. The infant, identified as one John-Raven Lee Cobb, is wanted for unlawful possession of a fully loaded, fully automatic poopy diaper (classified as a lethal weapon in Texas, but available without a permit). Recent sightings place the infant in the vicinity of Arlington, TX.


Above: The fugitive en route to a secret location.

A few days earlier, the hidden-camera picture below was captured of John-Raven at bathtime, during which he could be heard warning of his impending escape by shouting, "Ahh...aaaa...wah-waaaaaaa!" or, "I am not a prisoner! I am a free man!"



Temporarily left behind is John-Raven's twin brother, William "Babyface" Cobb. Earlier today, William underwent a simple hernia (hydrocele) procedure and is reportedly recovering well. Officials speculate that he may soon also attempt to break out of the Harris NICU to join his brother. William was unavailable for comment.

[Editor's Note: Yes, John-Raven is really finally home now. William had his hernia procedure earlier today and all went well. He's recovering nicely and will likely come home within the next couple of days.]

Word of the Day: Hyrdocele

William has to have an operation for hydrocele, something similar to (but apparently not as bad as) a hernia. It doesn't seem to be all that uncommon or a source of major concern, but still...he's had so much done to him already, and both boys are so close to going home now that we hate the idea that he'll have to have yet another operation.

As for going home, here's the doctor's requirement: The boys need to feed on their own (meaning they can't be tubefed) for two days. So if they're tired and not wanting to eat, they get tubefed. When that happens, the clock starts over.

So our goal at this point is to get the boys to stay off the tubefeeding for a couple of days and then to get William's hydrocele taken care of. They've been eating much better lately, so let's keep our fingers crossed.

And now, some pics of hands and feet - thanks Brandy!

Below: William's feet, which look just like John-Raven's. Imagine that.

Below: Daddy holding John-Raven's hand.



Below: William grabbing Mommy's finger

And last but certainly not least...

Jerri, one of the wonderful nurses at Harris, caught the cute picture below of William one night last week. Both boys will sometimes make random cute faces like these, but capturing one with a camera seems almost impossible (unless you're Jerri).